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#HimynameisRowan

Make a wish!

then: Make a Wish!

Over twenty years ago I became a massage therapist, and soon after that went to The Farm to train as a midwives’ assistant. In the space and time and bellies and pregnant peeps between then and now I learned the art of gently asking and coaxing a body to labor, especially when the labor wants to start but is held in check by a block. I figured this out in my massage room, one client at a time. I also listened to when someone had an old “(mid)wives tale”, cause many times they had truth in them. I’m teaching now, teaching folks how to whisper their labor, teaching other birth workers how to #LaborWhisper, and possibly our work will shape how our community treats a pregnant person. #Eachoneteachone

IMG_6353_zps3oitkiob

Now

This is how I can help:

  1. If you need help getting your labor started, poke around on the site, starting here, see if you can DIY it, sometimes thats all it takes. A little insight and some boundaries go a long way.
  2. Take my course, labor whisper yourself. Launching 4/2016     In the interim hop into our FB group  if you have a question.    
  3. Need more? I have a self course in the works, but in the interim I’ve trained a bunch of snappy Houston area birth workers, many that are available virtually, to help with one on one sessions. Pick your Whisperer right over here.

xoxoxo, Rowan

Reason #1 The Due Date is Crap

Does anybody even know how due dates are come up with? (and I love how the mac keeps wanting to auto correct to DUDE DATE ahahahha) Lets Review: According to Wikipedia (and personal knowledge corroborates this)

The rule estimates the expected date of delivery (EDD) by adding one year, subtracting three months, and adding seven days to the first day of a woman’s last menstrual period (LMP). The result is approximately 280 days (40 weeks) from the start of the last menstrual period. Another method is by adding 9 months and 7 days to the first day of the last menstrual period.

And then look around at you Target or something and see if all the people with a uterus standing around you are wearing the same shoe size. Hmm, no. But they all are (probably) wearing shoes. Same sitch for due dates, all typically within the range of 37 -42 weeks, but its not like boom, have a box of contractions on your due date. Not even close.

blue present with Bow

Box of contractions for a magically short and awesome labor!

All pregnancies come to full term at times, and it can vary from pregnancy to pregnancy for the same person.  And I’m not even falling for the “Well, my mother did this, so I’ll probably do xyz.”

Preggers please, my mother birthed at an Army hospital in El Paso in the 70’s, I’m fairly certain that nothing flows the same. 

So its super important to realize that you are not broken, defective, or otherwise forked up if you aren’t in labor and sail way past your due date. Cause guess what? That can stop a labor, the anxiety and feelings of “I cant even go into labor right,” will keep the labor train form leaving the station. Need help getting people off your dress? Give ’em the bird. ‘Cause most people outside of birth workers have zero idea about the entire process. Make sure and tag your bird pic with #LaborWhispering so me and the Secret Society of Labor Whisperers can hard core troll the peeps giving you the Vag TV. xoxoxo my loves, Rowan Ps Local gal Cole gets all up in your dates right here.

Birth Playlist Magic Explained

What happens when a so`so song gets covered by a funky little acoustic ish type band? You get this song here. Give a listen to the Mister Wives! Boom. Add it your birth playlists my people. Por why you ask? ‘Cause when the energy tanks in the birth room, having some songs that create an ambiance conducive to birthing is helpful. Example, mother of the laboring woman walks in the room and announces to everyone, “I thought this would be over by now.” Cue the appalled silence.

OH NO you didn't just say that!!!

OH NO you didn’t just say that!!!

Would of been better if she’d made her entrance to some smooth tunes of Michael Buble’, or a rousing rendition “I want a Hippopotamus Christmas,” like this sexy version. Well, it was Christmas Eve. See, then she would of had what we call a social cue.  See, even though Michael isn’t actually in the room crooning in his sexy way, the cue is still there to be smooth, easy, in support. All of us relaxed and supporting the laboring person. Then future grandmother’s oxytocin and buzz killing words would have had the counter measure of positivity, comfort, and support. It’s  way better to start humming along to your favorite music instead of shrieking, ” Get out of here Mom. I don’t need your negativity!!!!!!” Sound sets it down, and by down I mean boundaries. Boundaries bring birth.

Lets get a Baby in your Arms!

Lets get a Baby in your Arms!

Tell me what songs rocked your birth, or what you are adding to your play list to facilitate your birth. Did anybody put a cool playlist together on Spotify or 8track? Inquiring minds and all that, and this is how we community share our knowledge. xoxoxo Rowan ps weirdly enough I gave Mr.Buble a massage about ten years ago when he was playing in Houston, Hi Michael! pps I think the funniest song I ever heard at a (hospital!) birth was “I want a Cooter” by Pandora’s Box. Lots of open mouth laughing for that!

Vag Tv

“Vag Tv is sneaky, often well intentioned, and can totally slow your labor roll. Come to this group prenatal class to get the 411 on how you too can prevent Vag Tv, sidestep its dire consequences, and spot it a mile away. Presented by Rowan TwoSisters and the Secret Society of Labor Whisperers.” This is the intro on a FaceBook event for a group prenatal class  for Sacred Journey Midwifery that I’m presenting with my other Labor Whisperers in Jan. And it occurs to me that Shannon Stellhorn’s living room isn’t going to hold all of us. All of you. All of the women who need to know that the hyper-scrutiny and all the “Have you had that baby yet?” are actually labor stoppers. STOPPERS. As in do not pass go. Like I know I’ve totally written before about going into labor , but let’s just look at it again.  Review. There are four kinda general reasons that people don’t go into labor,

  1. The due date is crap ~Arbitrary, a guestimate. And people get MARRIED to that shiz. Calm down people, its just a a shot in the dark. Every woman, every pregnancy, every weather pattern is different.
  2. Its all in your head ~  Something emotional/mental/energetically is slowing the roll. EX? Vag TV!
  3. Let’s Get Physical! So maybe fetal malposition (due to a number of things), tight pelvic floor, broken and now stuck pointing inward  coccyx.
  4. We don’t actually know, but somethings up. ~And this is where we do everything we can to get a preggers person as ready as can be with our protocol, so that if you need a little help from our (medical) friends, that we’ve cleared the way for any medical intervention needed to be as effective as possible. Collaborative not combative.

Vag Tv is a shining example of getting so much hassle that your body doesn’t feel safe enough to do its job, like kick into labor. Vag Tv is when you are no longer a person, but a giant belly/crotch combo, and everybody has their 2cents on your birth, your belly size, your birth plan, your partners involvement. It can look like the constant social media posts asking about the baby, or text messages, or unsolicited comments, especially those involving crap birth stories. The solution to Vag Tv is boundaries. No joke. Because if your body doesn’t know you are going to keep it safe and taken care of, the Oxytocin may decide hide and not come out and play. So I came up with a plan.

  1. Take you one of these, this is my girl Angela Andrea, she bakes cakes.

Andrea Selfie2. Then go back and take a sticky note, or a piece of printer paper and stick it up right where your phone would be.Oh, you can write on it too, something clever or witty or, I know, a picture of a bird!

Bird pic

I think we can all see why I didn’t pursue a career in art.

3. ok, take the pregnant selfie again.Beth & BirdBoom, there you are. The perfect profile pic for all your social media posts. Genius, eh? Don’t forget to include the hashtag #laborwhispering, then maybe all your social media peeps can come tell me what a B I am for coaching you on having good labor boundaries. Whatevs, I have friends. When to take it down? When you have one of these!

Baby Violet

Baby Violet. She’s looking right into our souls.

Xoxoxoxoo, Rowan