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Reason #2 It’s all in Your Head

 

Reason #2 It’s all in Your Head*

Welllllll heck, reason number two that labor doesn’t start is that there is an emotional or mental block that is keeping your baby from getting in synch with your natural “going into labor” rhythm. What’s that you say “I didn’t know that I could mind block my labor?!” Well sure you could, just like if your hang out up in your head to much you can stop (or significantly slow) other things, you know, that use that same general area. Just think about that for a minute. Ever tried to get dowwwwwnnnnn but your mind wouldn’t let you? Same thing with birth, but now instead it looks like anxiety  about birth, or the postpartum period or work stuff, or “Can you wait to have the baby? Today is not a good day.” Anxiety will stop a labor in its tracks, so  when control type A peeps get wound up because birth and labor aren’t carrying on according to their time lines, that in surging adrenaline stops oxytocin cold. Think Ice Ice Baby…. If we hop over to the emotional side of things, getting emotionally wound up is also a labor block. Ever been so upset you couldn’t think straight? Or so over the top pissed off your voice shook and hands were unsteady? In my family we call this having a red hair moment. This will stop your labor. So what if its more subtle than that? A nagging worry, or something that just keeps you emotionally off kilter? Like, I dunno, you hate your doctor, or the hospital, or some other person or place where you are birthing. Like a key factor, those types of emotional unease or trigger will keep you from feeling safe and ready to go into labor. So lets start here, get out a journal or the back of an envelope or a smart phone with Evernote or whatever and brain dump all the shiznit thats bothering you.

Here is my horrible attempt, but I think you get the idea.

list on enveloope

Out of your Head, Onto the Paper

So just to lay it all out there, when it comes to birth emotions and/or things we mentally chew over and over again, its either part of the solution or part of the problem. So if you have a list working (and most folks do), its time to address the points one by one and create a plan  or workarounds or boundaries, or whatever, but the goal here is too have a mother trucking list of solutions in your hand. Alert: your action plan most probably needs to include the thinning of peeps attending your birth. So make your list, sling it on some social media, and tag it with #LaborWhispering so that way we can clap and cheer and give you our two cents (or not) for getting your head and heart clean and ready for a new baby in your arms. And thats how you Labor Whisper yourself through reason #2. xo my loves, Rowan *Let’s be clear here, “It’s all in your head,” is valid all freaking day long. Its not any less real or legit than an obvious physical challenge, like lets say if you had rickets when you were a kid and have a deformed pelvis or some shiz. Which you probably don’t, but I think you get me.

Labor Whispering, How to Go About It

Labor Whispering is persuasive, not a choke hold. And thats what I see or hear most times, ” I just want to meet my baby, I’m impatient.” Let me clue you in here sister (or brother,) throwing your best tricks to early in the game gets you a tired crabby uterus and a crabby tired pregnant person.

um, calm down?

um, calm down?

Walk because its good for ya, dance cause its joy inducing and helps promote fetal positioning, but eating ALL THE FOODS and doing ALL THE MOVES and ALLL THE TRICKS and ALL THE SUPPLEMENTS and ALL THE ALL THE ALL THE will just exhaust you and largely render them ineffective for when the appropriate time would be for a little coaxing. WHAT DO WE WANT?!! A BABY!!! WHEN DO WE WANT IT?!! NOW!!! So instead, a better approach is to go through the Labor Whispering 4 steps, or rather review the four reasons people don’t go into labor, and see what you can do proactively to get body and mind and community ready. Approach it from a a peaceful and chill heart. Cause doing everything you can since 37 weeks makes you and everyone around you bananas, and many times when baby comes at 41 plus weeks you are exhausted and emotionally strung out, and thats BEFORE the intensity of the newborn time. Guess what thats a setup for? Post Partum depression. And that for sure affects bonding  and the foundation of your family. That shiz is no joke. So my love, calm down, settle your pants, practice your deep breathing, walking, yoga, Dancing for Birth, and Spinning Babies. Review the  reasons labor does not start, and work through the blocks, set the boundaries, stop the vag tv. All of it. A watched pot never boils, even when you are banging the crud out of it with a spatula.

Sierra Looking Down

Relaaaaaaaax.

I believe in you, Rowan

Birth Playlist Magic Explained

What happens when a so`so song gets covered by a funky little acoustic ish type band? You get this song here. Give a listen to the Mister Wives! Boom. Add it your birth playlists my people. Por why you ask? ‘Cause when the energy tanks in the birth room, having some songs that create an ambiance conducive to birthing is helpful. Example, mother of the laboring woman walks in the room and announces to everyone, “I thought this would be over by now.” Cue the appalled silence.

OH NO you didn't just say that!!!

OH NO you didn’t just say that!!!

Would of been better if she’d made her entrance to some smooth tunes of Michael Buble’, or a rousing rendition “I want a Hippopotamus Christmas,” like this sexy version. Well, it was Christmas Eve. See, then she would of had what we call a social cue.  See, even though Michael isn’t actually in the room crooning in his sexy way, the cue is still there to be smooth, easy, in support. All of us relaxed and supporting the laboring person. Then future grandmother’s oxytocin and buzz killing words would have had the counter measure of positivity, comfort, and support. It’s  way better to start humming along to your favorite music instead of shrieking, ” Get out of here Mom. I don’t need your negativity!!!!!!” Sound sets it down, and by down I mean boundaries. Boundaries bring birth.

Lets get a Baby in your Arms!

Lets get a Baby in your Arms!

Tell me what songs rocked your birth, or what you are adding to your play list to facilitate your birth. Did anybody put a cool playlist together on Spotify or 8track? Inquiring minds and all that, and this is how we community share our knowledge. xoxoxo Rowan ps weirdly enough I gave Mr.Buble a massage about ten years ago when he was playing in Houston, Hi Michael! pps I think the funniest song I ever heard at a (hospital!) birth was “I want a Cooter” by Pandora’s Box. Lots of open mouth laughing for that!

Vag Tv

“Vag Tv is sneaky, often well intentioned, and can totally slow your labor roll. Come to this group prenatal class to get the 411 on how you too can prevent Vag Tv, sidestep its dire consequences, and spot it a mile away. Presented by Rowan TwoSisters and the Secret Society of Labor Whisperers.” This is the intro on a FaceBook event for a group prenatal class  for Sacred Journey Midwifery that I’m presenting with my other Labor Whisperers in Jan. And it occurs to me that Shannon Stellhorn’s living room isn’t going to hold all of us. All of you. All of the women who need to know that the hyper-scrutiny and all the “Have you had that baby yet?” are actually labor stoppers. STOPPERS. As in do not pass go. Like I know I’ve totally written before about going into labor , but let’s just look at it again.  Review. There are four kinda general reasons that people don’t go into labor,

  1. The due date is crap ~Arbitrary, a guestimate. And people get MARRIED to that shiz. Calm down people, its just a a shot in the dark. Every woman, every pregnancy, every weather pattern is different.
  2. Its all in your head ~  Something emotional/mental/energetically is slowing the roll. EX? Vag TV!
  3. Let’s Get Physical! So maybe fetal malposition (due to a number of things), tight pelvic floor, broken and now stuck pointing inward  coccyx.
  4. We don’t actually know, but somethings up. ~And this is where we do everything we can to get a preggers person as ready as can be with our protocol, so that if you need a little help from our (medical) friends, that we’ve cleared the way for any medical intervention needed to be as effective as possible. Collaborative not combative.

Vag Tv is a shining example of getting so much hassle that your body doesn’t feel safe enough to do its job, like kick into labor. Vag Tv is when you are no longer a person, but a giant belly/crotch combo, and everybody has their 2cents on your birth, your belly size, your birth plan, your partners involvement. It can look like the constant social media posts asking about the baby, or text messages, or unsolicited comments, especially those involving crap birth stories. The solution to Vag Tv is boundaries. No joke. Because if your body doesn’t know you are going to keep it safe and taken care of, the Oxytocin may decide hide and not come out and play. So I came up with a plan.

  1. Take you one of these, this is my girl Angela Andrea, she bakes cakes.

Andrea Selfie2. Then go back and take a sticky note, or a piece of printer paper and stick it up right where your phone would be.Oh, you can write on it too, something clever or witty or, I know, a picture of a bird!

Bird pic

I think we can all see why I didn’t pursue a career in art.

3. ok, take the pregnant selfie again.Beth & BirdBoom, there you are. The perfect profile pic for all your social media posts. Genius, eh? Don’t forget to include the hashtag #laborwhispering, then maybe all your social media peeps can come tell me what a B I am for coaching you on having good labor boundaries. Whatevs, I have friends. When to take it down? When you have one of these!

Baby Violet

Baby Violet. She’s looking right into our souls.

Xoxoxoxoo, Rowan